Tulane Bookstore Now Selling More Adult Coloring Books Than Actual Books

By Paul Sand

Move aside, Ta-Nehisi Coates, there are intricate elephant drawings that need coloring in.

LBC officials announced yesterday that, for the first time, the number of adult coloring books sold at the Tulane Bookstore has surpassed the sale of word-filled books. The news comes as part of an $11 million report commissioned by Tulane to investigate whether undergraduates buy anything from the bookstore aside from textbooks, makeup, and “Tulane Dad” apparel.

“It's remarkable,” author Harold Cran said. “Students are willing to charge an extra $10 to $17 to accounts receivable or their parents credit cards in order to enjoy the oldest and most noble of academic pursuits: coloring.”

The study shows that the average Tulane student will buy 0.002 non-academic books from the bookstore during their undergraduate careers, and that a whopping 68% of those will be of the coloring variety. Although these thin, plastic-covered tomes often force colorers to stay within the lines, some faculty members believe that students can learn important critical thinking skills when deciding which color to use or which page to start on.

“Coloring books help students develop the skills they will need later in life," Dr. Janet Stevens, who probably teaches something Liberal Artsy, said. "For example, it's important to know how to pick between a realistic green or a dreamlike shade of pink when coloring in a leaf.”

Not everyone is thrilled by the announcement, however. Jack Bradley, a freshman who apparently has it all figured out already, has become newly enraged at Tulane's lack of nuanced and incisive literary material.

“Coloring books? Are you fucking with me right now?” Bradley said while vaping on the LBC patio. “What came in second, flip-books?”

Although Bradley’s guess was inaccurate (flip-books were fourth most purchased, behind calendars and blank notebooks), his point still resonates with many members of the student body. A new student activist group has formed on campus in order to promote leisure reading to Tulanians. The group, known as Collective Students United to Make Young Adults Read More Actual Books (or CSUMYARMAB for short), has started to aggressively hand out flyers explaining the value of pleasure reading.

Unfortunately for CSUMYARMAB, the flyers contained a clip-art stencil of a library in the corner, which many students have begun to color in ignorant protest.

CampusLara Miloslavsky