Student Concerned No One Likes Him After Insta Gets Under 100 Likes
By Paul Sand
Worried if next post drops below 50 he may cease to exist
Sophomore George Connor has started to worry that no one likes him anymore after his recent Instagram post displaying the Mardi Gras tree received fewer than 100 likes. Although the photo was well-taken, had good composition, and used the subtlest of filters, it still did not reach an acceptable number of likes.
“Double digits?” Connor lamented. “Does everyone hate me all of the sudden? What did I do to deserve this?”
Of Connor’s 427 Instagram followers, only 83 liked the picture, which was cleverly captioned “Peace out Mardi. See you next year!” This represented a significant drop off from the 147 friends and family members who liked his last picture, a black-and-white masterpiece which showcased Connor in a social environment with his arms around two attractive women and featured the genius caption “Hell of a night.” Perhaps feeling overconfident, Connor boldly chose to employ a sunset filter on the Mardi Gras tree post, which was taken at 12:53 in the afternoon on his walk from Gibson to Bruff.
Although devastated by his current status as a social media pariah, Connor believes there may be some alternative explanation other than the obvious: that all of his friends have stopped liking him simultaneously.
“Some people just care about partying and stuff,” Connor said wistfully, looking off into the sky. “They don’t appreciate the beauty of the natural world, or the beauty of me. Kind of sad when you think about it.”
Connor's friends offered a different take. "George has been pretty annoying recently," said his roommate Mike Hunter. "Maybe I'll like his next picture if he stops bitching about every little thing I do."
Mike was not alone in his assessment of Connor's recent behavior. "I used to think he was okay," Sarah Watson, a cute girl in Connor's physics lab, said. "I probably liked his last three or four pictures before the tree one. But he bumped into me in the hall after lab last week and didn't even apologize, and then later I overheard him asking somebody 'why there isn't an International Men's Day.'"
In an attempt to keep his spirits up, Connor has already begun to plan his next post. His options include: him and his friends wearing basketball jerseys, a birthday post for his grandmother or a picture of his dog. Hopefully, one of these fascinating and original ideas well get him back to a comfortable number of likes.
Until then, Connor can always relive his glory days, such as when he got a personal record 259 likes on a picture of him smoking a cigar in his high school graduation gown. Stay strong George!