Tulane Fraction Club Announces that 4/20 Should Actually Be 1/5
By Nate Koch
They promise this makes sense if you really think about it
In a rare occurrence, the Tulane Association for the Appreciation of Fractions and Ratios (TAAFR) emerged from the first-floor study room of Wall to announce that, based on their calculations, 4/20 should actually occur on 1/5.
TAAFR held a very quiet press conference on the third floor of Howard Tilton to discuss their findings and began a grassroots campaign to officially change the holiday commonly enjoyed by smokers to 1/5.
"The modern world has no respect or appreciation for the reduction of basic fractions," TAAFR president David Robertson said, pushing his comically large glasses up the bridge of his greasy nose. "It's incredibly characteristic of ganja-enthusiasts to neglect to simplify 4/20 into 1/5, which is a much more elegant and flexible fraction. After years of standing to the side, we've had enough."
Onlookers at the press conference ranged from shock to obliviousness that any event had taken place.
"So wait, does this mean that they want 4/20 to happen on January 5th?" Sophie Ward, a freshman political science major, remarked. "I guess I'm confused. Does this mean, like, Valentine's Day should happen on January 7th?"
TAAFR secretary and only other member Robert Davidson maintained that, although the club's demands were slightly convoluted, it was more important to acknowledge the larger sentiment of their efforts.
"Is it possible that the brownies we found and ate in the Wall study room had some neurological effects that we weren't prepared for? I don't know, maybe. It felt like time was moving twice as slow and our minds were moving twice as fast," Davidson admitted. "I guess now I can't totally explain our reasoning. But it made so much sense when we were talking about it. You had to have been there."
If carried forward, this will be TAAFR's most successful campus campaign. Robertson and Davidson plan to rally on McAlister next week with signs that say "Hey, remember how last week it was 4/20? It should have been 1/5. Do the math, idiots. Just think about it for a few hours, maybe sleep on it and eventually it'll make sense." The layout and design of the signs have yet to be fully ironed out.
"Our hope is primarily that students on campus will think first before celebrating a holiday on a day that could've been reduced to a day that corresponds to its simplest ratio," Davidson said. "And also if somebody could tell us what was in those brownies and where we could get more, that'd be great."
The club said that they plan to continue protesting until their voices are heard, if not entirely understood.